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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be fun for her. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?